I caught myself today, going from a relaxed and centred space, into one of distress and anger. My environment was exactly the same, just my mindset had shifted. It happened in a split second. I got some news and felt my body chemistry suddenly change as my thoughts began to darken. I remembered that this was an opportunity to listen to my thoughts, and they were ridiculous. I watched that part of myself that had become angry, and asked; why has that hit you so deeply?
It’s like someone had hit Into the top of an iceberg without seeing the mass underneath. I allowed my mind to invite the feelings and let them wash over me, asking quietly; why is this feeling so familiar.
Sure enough, several scenarios began to pop up In my head. I realised in this moment, the complexity of our minds and how we group things together until they become general likes and dislikes. There were many layers to why I was upset, and to break them all down could of taken a while. Instead, I just asked, what do you need right now, to make you feel less pain. I sat with my feelings, and let them bubble up before deciding that was enough to recognise and respect them, give them a voice, and then I took myself for a walk. I reminded myself of the things I am grateful for and made a note about what scenarios came up.
I now know that in my subconscious, there are things that have fear based protective intentions, and that when they come up, there is a way to re-educate them, leaving less iceberg moments for the future.